So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
