Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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