i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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