This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
