Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
