ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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