mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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