He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize