the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
