I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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