Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
