Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
