Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
