there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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