I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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