I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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