Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
