he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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