My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
