Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Bring me that man meat
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
