Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i came on her dog
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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