He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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