my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
