I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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