my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
