Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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