He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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