Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
