Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
