Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
