So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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