i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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