Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your tits are I can't wait for
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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