Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize