I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
