I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
