Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
