who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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