It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize