singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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