Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
