Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
