I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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