You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
