i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
