Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
