:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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