guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
