So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
