Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
