definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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