halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
