that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
