Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
