can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
