I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
