I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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