You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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