what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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