I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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