The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
