She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You're like the curious george of whores
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
