we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
