It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
