he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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