I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
